#1 humor site on the 'net

Driving Tip For The Elderly

When you know it's time to stop driving

Driving Tip For The Elderly thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is no place for sissies. - Bette Davis

Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

The old horse in the stable still yearns to run. - Mongolian Proverb

To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am. - Bernard Baruch

The gods bestowed on him the gift of perpetual old age. - Oscar Wilde

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Young men soon give, and soon forget, affronts; old age is slow in both. - Joseph Addison

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

More people would live to a ripe old age if they weren't too busy providing for it. - Unknown

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age. - Bill Bryson

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake


Top-Heavy Truck with Afro Haircut

Hubcap Shine

Wooden Owl

One Way Repairs

Polar Breath

Nice Try, China

Enough Art Supplies

Earth Day Memories

Italian Fire Exit

Scottish Lawnmower

Self Confidence

Wrong On So Many Levels

Reflection

Which Way Cupcakes

Woman Argument

Fat Monkey Sculpture

Buddha Is Watching You

Picnic Boat Launch

Carnations vs. Roses

After Easter Bunny

Manitoba Spring Day

Catch Up With Jesus

Forgotten Easter Eggs

Broken Egg