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Whose Problem

Who are you going to call - a plumber or electrician?

Whose Problem thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber. - Albert Einstein

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Spiral Staircase

Clogged Sink

Scuba Diving Sucks

Water Bomber Pilot

Car Paint

Scottish Haircut

The Definition Of Old

Redneck Pool Table

Clint Eastwood

Playing Through

Island Music

Arch Enemies

Firemen's Revenge

Pipeline Security

Gun Exhaust

Canadian Food Chain

Flintstone Drum Set

Bird Cage Illness

Grasping Shirt

Lip Clouds

Key Frame

Texas Office Chair

IKEA Food Size

It's A Cracker