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Watch Out for the Joe-kster

The Joe-kster's previous life as a Whoopee Cushion

Watch Out for the Joe-kster thanks to Mel Hardman

QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

But the ultimate lesson is just sit down and write. - Wole Soyinka

Trying to squash a rumor is like trying to unring a bell. - Shana Alexander

McEnroe has got to sit down and work out where he stands. - Fred Perry

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. - Terry Pratchett

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Smile. It will bring serenity to the most stressful situations. - Garnet Hill

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. - Ogden Nash

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed. - Ernest Hemingway

Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up. - Ann Bradford

No one has the right to sit down and feel hopeless. There's too much work to do. - Dorothy Day

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Playing Shakespeare is so tiring. You never get a chance to sit down unless you're a king. - Josephine Hull

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. - Winston Churchill

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week. - Will Rogers

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller


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