#1 humor site on the 'net

Nitrate

Bubba's first day in Chemistry class

Nitrate thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
We are new every day. - Irene Claremont Castillego

A day is a miniature eternity. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Flirting is conversational chemistry. - Isaac Mizrahi

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

Either you run the day, or the day runs you. - Jim Rohn

This is the first day of the rest of your life. - Unknown

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

As Doris Day used to sing "Que Seroo Seroo." - Archie Bunker

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

I never put off till tomorrow what I can do the day after. - Oscar Wilde

One day I woke up and I was the oldest person in every room. - Bill Clinton

This is a wonderful day. I've never seen this one before. - Maya Angelou

Valentine's Day is like Armistice Day - you declare a truce. - Milton Berle

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

Every day that you haven't learned something new is a wasted day. - Joe-kster

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day to day basis. - Margaret Bonnano

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress. - Kiera Cass

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

Being a writer is like having homework every night for the rest of your life. - Lawrence Kasdan

I've been around so long I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin. - Groucho Marx

Never let a day pass that you will have cause to say, I will do better tomorrow. - Brigham Young

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. - Edgar Allan Poe

I dreamt of you last night, as if I was playing the piano and you were turning the pages for me. - Vladimir Nabokov

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

Raise him a Luferan if you want, raise him a Norman with 7 wives, a holy roller, a Seventh Day Adventurer... - Archie Bunker

Rejoice that I have lived to see this day, when the colored people have equal privileges with the most favored. - Thomas Garrett

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

Do you think that every time someone has acupuncture there's a voodoo doll out there having a really bad day? - Caryn Leschen

It is the studying you do after your school days that really counts. Otherwise, you know only that which everyone else knows. - Henry L. Doherty

Every morning brings new potential, but if you dwell on the misfortunes of the day before, you tend to overlook tremendous opportunities. - Harvey Mackay

The day I understood everything, was the day I stopped trying to figure everything out. The day I knew peace was the day I let everything go. - C. JoyBell

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

I have always been pushed by the negative. The apparent failure of a play sends me back to my typewriter that very night, before the reviews are out. - Tennessee Williams


Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cheating Husband

Stuck On High Gear

Bottom Blast Car Wash

Yo Mama Bin Shopping

Gangsta

Helmet Full Of Hair

Air Conditioner Repair

Redneck Towing

Walking His Fresh Food Pet

Japanese Tea Bath

Redneck Daycare

Hedge Hunter

Pilot Prop Job

Front To Side View

Moses' USB Tablets

Family Photo

Is Laughter The Best Medicine?

Plastered Wall Plasterer

Waffle Board

Stairway Repair

Cowboy Bubble Bath

Trunk Load

Centennial Puff