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Looking Small

How to downsize your spouse

Looking Small thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Looking Small thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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I'm looking for a loop-hole. - WC Fields

Whining is anger through a small opening. - Al Franken

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. - Steven Wright

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands. - Dudley Moore

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. - Steven Wright

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job. - Zig Ziglar

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

A spouse or partner should enhance your life, not be your life; your life is your own. - Sukhi Burgen

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together. - Vincent van Gogh

You get an education when you read the small print. You get a shock when you don't. - Buck Tracy

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. - Unknown

If a child, a spouse, a life partner, or a parent depends on you and your income, you need life insurance. - Suze Orman

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

Fairies have to be one thing or the other, because being so small they unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time. - J.M. Barrie

I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it. - Harry E. Fosdick

Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, "What's in it for me?" - Brian Tracy

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


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