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Looking Small

How to downsize your spouse

Looking Small thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Looking Small thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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Words are the small change of thought. - Jules Renard

Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. - Swedish Proverb

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least Miss Right Now. - Robin Williams

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. - Steven Wright

This is one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind. - Neil Armstrong

Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts. - Leo Rosten

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. - Steven Wright

Committee work is like a soft chair - easy to get into but hard to get out of. - Kenneth J Shively

Heed the still small voice that so seldom leads us wrong, and never into folly. - Marquise du Deffand

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

You get an education when you read the small print. You get a shock when you don't. - Buck Tracy

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration. - James Allen

Happiness hides in life's small details. If you're not looking, it becomes invisible. - Joyce Brothers

You may be right
I may be crazy.
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. - Billy Joel

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The guitar is a small orchestra. It is polyphonic. Every string is a different color, a different voice. - Andres Segovia

A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't... and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. - Unknown

Yoga is possible for anybody who really wants it. Yoga is universal... But don't approach yoga with a business mind looking for worldly gain. - Pattabhi Jois

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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