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Devoted Husband

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Devoted Husband thanks to Glenna Kennedy

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Marry money. - Max Shulman

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Life is short. Eat cookies for breakfast. - Unknown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

Sometimes I've believed as many as six possible things before breakfast. - Lewis Caroll

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. - Groucho Marx

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


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