#1 humor site on the 'net

British Survey

And the survey says...

British Survey thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
I never vote for anyone; I always vote against. - WC Fields

I've always had a weakness for foreign affairs. - Mae West

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Questions are never indiscreet; answers sometimes are. - Oscar Wilde

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal. - Emma Goldman

The way to avoid roadblocks to learning is to ask questions. - Joseph J. Thomas

Rain is the one thing the British do better than anybody else. - Marilyn French

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions. Chocolate understands. - Unknown

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

There are no foreign lands. It is the traveler only who is foreign. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least. - Robert Byrne

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate. - Kin Hubbard

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

If we take the good we find, asking no questions, we shall have heaping measures. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. - William S. Burroughs

I have always thought that foreign-policy idealism has to be tempered with realism. - William Hague

You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. - John J Plomp

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions; they are easier to handle than dumb mistakes. - Unknown

I learned a long time ago in Hollywood that the only person I should vote for is myself. - Jack Nicholson

Whenever a fellow tells me he's bipartisan, I know he's going to vote against me. - Harry S Truman

But I was afraid of the questions (much more than the accusations) you might both put to me. - J.D. Salinger

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

If you are going to ask yourself life-changing questions, be sure to do something with the answers. - Bo Bennett

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal

The irony of the matter is that the future generations do not have a vote. In effect, we hold their proxy. - Charles J Hitch

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out? - Molly Harper

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. - Douglas Casey

Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost. - John Quincy Adams

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan


Cow Trampoline

Suspicious Blood Donor

Friends In High Places

Hair Cut Toupee

Finger Physio

Texas Steak

Triathlete with a Drinking Problem

Awning Truck Advertising

Racial Profiling Starts Early

Your Move

Florida Bird Flu

Croc Surfing

Zip Tie Prank

Ukrainian Power Adaptor

World's Hardest Golf Shot

India Airlines Economy Flight

Downspout Planters

Camel Walkers

Head Path

Whiskey Jig

Running Track

Body Bodice - Double OUCH!!!

DogWood

Feel-Good Story of the Year