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Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet. - Steven Wright

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help get them back in bed again. - Will Rogers

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. - Warren Buffet

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


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