#1 humor site on the 'net

The Good Old Days

Instantaneous invigorators and cures of the 1900's

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Bottle of Bayer's heroin - Between 1890 and 1910 heroin was sold as a non-addictive substitute for morphine. It was also used to treat children with a strong cough

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Metcalf's Coca Wine was one of a huge variety of wines with cocaine on the market. Everybody used to say that it would make you happy and it would also work as a medicinal treatment

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Mariani wine was the most famous Coca wine around 1875. Pope Leo XIII used to carry one bottle with him all the time. He awarded Angelo Mariani (the producer) with a Vatican gold medal

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

A paper weight promoting C.F. Boehringer & Soehne (Mannheim, Germany). They were proud of being the biggest producers in the world of products containing Quinine and Cocaine

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Opium for Asthma - Considered safe since it contained no more than 40% alcohol opium

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Cocaine Tablets - All stage actors, singers, teachers and preachers had to have them in the 1900's for a maximum performance. Great to 'smooth' the voice

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Cocaine Toothache Drops - This would make them sleep well - Opium with 46% alcohol

The Good Old Days thanks to Gary Wilkes

Opium for Newborns - Very popular for children in 1885. Not only did they relieve the pain, they made the children happy

No wonder they were called 'The Good Old Days'!
QuotaBills
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Through pain I've learned to comfort suffering men. - Virgil

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield


One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life