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Swine Flew

How to run away from the flu

Swine Flew thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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Every disease is a physician. - Irish Proverb

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Astrology is a disease, not a science. - Maimonides

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - George Carlin

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind. - Albert Einstein

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

You may know the intractability of a disease by its long list of remedies. - Alonzo Clark

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a madhouse. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

'Tis not always in a physician's power to cure the sick; at times the disease is stronger than trained art. - Ovid

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Hastiness and superficiality are the psychic diseases of the 20th century, and more than anywhere else this disease is reflected in the press. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn


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