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Swine Flew

How to run away from the flu

Swine Flew thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind. - Albert Einstein

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

You may know the intractability of a disease by its long list of remedies. - Alonzo Clark

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Antitoxidote cruisin' through my system looking for some disease to attack. - Archie Bunker

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

We have to live our lives as if we are dying of a fatal disease. Because we are. - Phineas Narco

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. - Cale Yarborough

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but the feeling of being unwanted. - Mother Teresa

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

People were never "living with their disease." We cured them. Or they died from it. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

As it takes two to make a quarrel, so it takes two to make a disease, the microbe and its host. - Charles V. Chapin

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism. - Robert Frost

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Hastiness and superficiality are the psychic diseases of the 20th century, and more than anywhere else this disease is reflected in the press. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn


Animal Taxi

Lego Key Holder

Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg

Fork Door Handle

Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes