#1 humor site on the 'net

Sick Tombstone

Some warnings come too late

Sick Tombstone thanks to Dwayne Martin

QuotaBills
I hope they bury me near a strait man. - Groucho Marx

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Liberty for wolves is death to the lambs. - Isaiah Berlin

When I die, bury my balls next to my old bag. - Unknown

You were born an original, don't die a copy. - Unknown

Cowards die many times before their actual deaths. - Julius Caesar

Death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic. - W H Auden

Death is the greatest evil, because it cuts off hope. - William Hazlitt

Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor. - Joseph Addison

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down. - Unknown

If you wish to die young, make your physician your heir. - Romania Proverb

To die in the flower of age is a life offered in sacrifice. - Madagascar Saying

What pity is it that we can die but once to serve our country. - Joseph Addison

'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but death and taxes. - Christopher Bullock

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Tigers die and leave their skins; people die and leave their names. - Japanese Proverb

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Old statisticians never die, they are just broken down by age and sex. - Unknown

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn. - Fulton J. Sheen

Death twitches my ear. "Live," he says; "I am coming." - Virgil

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen

Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world. - Mark Twain

"Fearless" is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. - Taylor Swift

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I think we risk becoming the best-informed society that has ever died of ignorance. - Ruben Blades

It's better to die for an idea that will live than live for an idea that will die. - Steve Biko

I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me. - Humphrey Bogart

If you listen to your fears, you will die never knowing what a great person you might have been. - Robert H. Schuller

For death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? - I Corinthians 15:55

There are many things worth living for, a few things worth dying for, and nothing worth killing for. - Tom Robbins

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying. - Woody Allen

Some say cling to the earth while others say reach for the stars. There's time enough for the earth in the grave. - Unknown

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. - George Burns

Today is yesterday's victory, yesterday is tomorrow's conquest, and tomorrow is today's war. Though I face death, I am not fearsome. - Nad├Ęge Richards


Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider

Close Ups

Redneck Camera Phone

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Cupboard

Homeless Signs

Floor Store

Mary Go Round

City Beach Castle

Rescue Pup

Your Meal Is Ready

Bicycle Water Bottle Holder