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Redneck Car Repair

Bubba's window foam fix

Redneck Car Repair thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Redneck Car Repair thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

A window of opportunity won't open itself. - Dave Weinbaum

It only rains straight down. God doesn't do windows. - Steven Wright

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. - Tom Peters

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before. - Mignon McLaughlin

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

We do not need to attend classroom training programs for everything. Observation opens the windows of knowledge around us. - Sukant Ratnakar

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. - Dale Carnegie

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman


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