#1 humor site on the 'net

Pa Loves Women

Pa's 'Down Under' friendship

Pa Loves Women thanks to Dwayne Martin

QuotaBills
When I die, bury my balls next to my old bag. - Unknown

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard. - Phyllis Diller

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

If it weren't for the olive, I'd starve to death. - Unknown

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. - Sam Levenson

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma. - Eartha Kitt

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Women's styles may change but their designs remain the same. - Oscar Wilde

'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but death and taxes. - Christopher Bullock

Each time we don't say what we want to say, we're dying. - Yoko Ono

For thirty years my act consisted of one joke. And then she died. - George Burns

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Can grave and formal pass for wise,
When Men the solemn Owl despise? - Benjamin Franklin

A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past. - Fidel Castro

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

Men, remember there is no retreat from here. You must die where you stand. - Colin Campbell

The past attracts me, the present frightens me, because the future is death. - Guy de Maupassant

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try. - Mary Kay Ash

However much you may try to delay, you are fated to meet the same death as I did. - Tiberius Gracchus

If the rich could pay people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living. - Yiddish Proverb

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. - Norman Cousins

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Will Rogers

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived. - George S Patton

I want to die like my father; peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers. - Bob Monkhouse

Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist. - Edgar W Howe

Solitude scares me. It makes me think about love, death, and war. I need distraction from anxious, black thoughts. - Brigitte Bardot

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now. - Joan Baez

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

When you die, God and the angels will hold you accountable for all the pleasures you were allowed in this life that you denied yourself. - Unknown

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera


Just Like Grandpa

High Heel Diver

Leading Edge Climber

Garden Gnome Soccer

Florence Time

Bird Trio

Chess Sudoku Puzzles C

I Want My Own Room

Fish Flops

Lip Gloss

Beer Pong

Canadian High Five

Kodak Moment

Third Fiddle

Clown Down

African Car Wash

Pointless

Hebrew Sudoku Puzzles A

Fowl Soccer Coach

Atrophy Cure

Math Mug

Zidane Is Fast

Atheist Professor

Punctuation Matters