#1 humor site on the 'net

Noodle Art

That's using your noodle!

Noodle Art thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli


Bacon Is Life

How Men Think

Rollkuchen Sandwich

Two Hand Handbag

Genuine Fake Shoes

Kayak Funeral

Split Screen View

Ant Strength

Paper Scissors Cop

Safegun

Ultimate Spice Rack

Aging Cyclist

Yarn Bombing a Bus

Cell Phone Athlete

The Spacebar

Africa Car Security

Sand Faces

Train Boat

Water Rickshaw

That Way

Week Sales for the Weak

Hazardous Delivery

Nothing Can Compete With A Good Book

Camouflage Pro