#1 humor site on the 'net

Christmas Bad Attitude

Making light of a bad situation

Christmas Bad Attitude thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Christmas Bad Attitude thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
A light heart lives long. - William Shakespeare

Many hands make light work. - English Proverb

Numb the dark and you numb the light. - Brene Brown

He lights up a room when he leaves it. - Henny Youngman

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

A proverb is much light condensed in one flash. - Simmons

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Following the light of the sun, we left the Old World. - Christopher Columbus

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. - Chinese Proverb

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens

A good teacher is like a candle - it consumes itself to light the way for others. - Unknown

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. - Anton Chekhov

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

The art of art, the glory of expression, and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity. - Walt Whitman

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Blaise Pascal

I think that most people would rather face the light of a real enemy than the darkness of their imagined fears. - Max Brooks

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

It is obvious that we can no more explain a passion to a person who has never experienced it than we can explain light to the blind. - T S Eliot

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn and shine with increasing clearness on your path. - Jim Rohn

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros


Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider

Close Ups

Redneck Camera Phone

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Cupboard