#1 humor site on the 'net

Car Shower

Cooling off - 'weather' you like it or not

Car Shower thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Worry is rust upon the blade. - Henry Ward Hughes

The pessimist is half-licked before he starts. - Thomas A. Buckner

I've never seen a monument erected to a pessimist. - Paul Harvey

Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist. - Robert G. Allen

Worry is today's mice nibbling on tomorrow's cheese. - Unknown

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. - Oscar Wilde

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. - Leo Buscaglia

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway. - Unknown

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist - except an old optimist. - Mark Twain

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strength. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. - Dale Carnegie

Pessimists are usually kind. The gay, bubbling over, have no time for the pitiful. - Sean O'Faolain

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists. - Jean Rostand

An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about. - Austin O'Malley

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. - Benjamin Franklin

I worry about scientists discovering someday that lettuce has been fattening all along. - Erma Bombeck

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Don't worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try. - Jack Canfield

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. - Unknown

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

Pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; it reproduces itself by crippling our willingness to act. - Howard Zinn

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Unknown

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine. - Jim Carrey

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan

If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying. - Dale Carnegie

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. - Dale Carnegie

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep. - Dale Carnegie

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


Ship Tow

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Costco Wine

Downer Parking

Baconurkey

Camel Herders of the 21st Century

Redneck Palm Pilot

Turkey Day Selfie

Spool Turkey

Meal Alert

Turkey Not

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Going Cold Turkey

Bacon Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Biggest Turkeys

Turkish Architecture

Ghost Food

Turkey Weather Forecast

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Redneck Car Upgrade

Box Fill Overload

Hiding Horse