#1 humor site on the 'net

Anti-Bird Protection

Bird control measures for airplanes

Anti-Bird Protection thanks to Beth Garvin

In the wake of the recent Hudson River incident, the FAA is implementing new anti-bird measures for all airliners

QuotaBills
Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

Birds of a feather flock together. - English Proverb

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself if you wish to get others. - David Seabury

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Outdoor Pool

Wedding Pound Cake

Fear Of Light

Maiden Rock Illusion

Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

Noodle Art

Windows Scoreboard

Mummy Dogs

Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet

Media Bondage

Redneck ATV

Duct Tape - for a Prettier World

Don't Get Your Head In A Knot

Cornfield Fishing

Dawn Gone

Highest Human Position In The World

Together Since

You Never Call

CLUMSY Driver

Water Short

Post Research

Motorcycle Taxi

Columbia Street Party

Fly By Meal