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A Mother's Day Special

Don't ignore your gut feelings!

A Mother's Day Special thanks to Kyle Ziegler

QuotaBills
Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

My mother was a reader, and she read to us. She read us Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when I was six and my brother was eight. I never forgot it. - Stephen King


Revolutionary Cooking

Fish View

Pilot Bike

Stealth Woman

1st Rolex

Dish Dryer

Young Mechanic

Angry Mathematician

McLobster

Cliff Walks

Reading Chair

Puzzle Ad

Feeding Time

Rural Free Delivery

Urban Camper

Fractured Foot or Hand?

Yolkswagon

March of the Penguins - Canadian Version

Shoelusion

Almost Done

Swim Vacation

Foot Circle

Sumo Fault

Psychic Fair