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A Mother's Day Special

Don't ignore your gut feelings!

A Mother's Day Special thanks to Kyle Ziegler

QuotaBills
I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

Who has a bad wife, his hell begins on earth. - Dutch Proverb

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. - Emily Dickinson

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology. - Ray Romano

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, Just wait. - Judy Tenuta

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain


Downtown Speeding

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Stairway Roots

Meals On Wheels

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

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Mexican Recliners

Size Matters

Leadership Skills

Bottom Dweller

Gene Lifeguard

Portable Shower

Cut-Off Deadline

Kid Disposal

Racing a 'Hot Rod'

Why Elk Have Long Antlers

Biting Shoes

Romanian Auto Safety

New Player

Hoser

Garden Gnome

Hotel Waterfall

Security Guard

Real FootBall