#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Holiday

Bubba's cruise ship comes with a deluxe bathroom

Redneck Holiday thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

Nodding the head does not row the boat. - Unknown

Friendship is a plant we must often water. - German Proverb

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. - English Proverb

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now. - Martin Luther King Jr.

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river. - Tuscarora Proverb

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

To say my fate is not tied to your fate is like saying, "Your end of the boat is sinking." - Hugh Downs

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor

Today was about chasing sun-rays, beach waves, and sunsets. All things beautiful that give you peace are worth chasing. Everything else isn't. - April M. Monterrosa

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


Walkway Not

Pirate Vacation

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Redneck Spaghetti

Wild Game Nutrition Guide

Alaska Gas

Definition Of A Good Friend

Redneck Car Repair

Self-Propelled Rocket

Pole Clock

Donut Holes

Insect Food Fight

Living At C Level

Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley

Motorcycle Limo