#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Fire Alarm

Bubba's after-fire celebration plan

Redneck Fire Alarm thanks to Wayne Nowazek

And you never have to change the batteries

Redneck Fire Alarm thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Add not fire to fire. - Greek proverb

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. - Ursula K. Le Guin

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Sometimes I only hope to make a good popcorn movie. - Lou D. Phillips

I've never met a popcorn ball I didn't like. - Deb Caletti

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

We must rekindle the fire of idealism in our society. - Joe Biden

If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire? - Jerry Seinfeld

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Americans love popcorn, and their love doesn't quit. - Rosecrans Baldwin

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. - Edith Sodergran

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

I didn't have any ambition to produce big mainstream popcorn movies. - Jodie Foster

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

The only way to see a movie is in a big theater, on a big screen, with a big bag of popcorn. - Dan Glickman

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. - WC Fields

I had popcorn all over the place, so I decided I might as well be in the Processing Business. - Orville Redenbacher

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

We dried continuously day and night. We had no efficient way to do it, so we built this new popcorn plant. - Orville Redenbacher

Most of the competition was into bulk popcorn because of the major increases in the Drive-In Theatre Outlets. - Orville Redenbacher

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

With 'The A-Team,' it was like, 'Alright, I'm going to do a big popcorn movie and see how that feels.' - Joe Carnahan

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

If you're wanting something salty, do air-popped popcorn. That, to me, would be a healthier choice than having any kind of fried chip. - Bob Harper

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump


Safegun

Ultimate Spice Rack

Aging Cyclist

Yarn Bombing a Bus

Cell Phone Athlete

The Spacebar

Africa Car Security

Sand Faces

Train Boat

Water Rickshaw

That Way

Week Sales for the Weak

Hazardous Delivery

Nothing Can Compete With A Good Book

Camouflage Pro

Morning Paper

Diabetes Medication

India Plumbers

How To Prevent Cheating

Worst Job in the Army

Time Management

Melted Dog

Bible Bar

Shower Dog