#1 humor site on the 'net

Pilot Bike

When I grow up, I'm gonna be a Snowbird pilot

Pilot Bike thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

The voice is nothing but beaten air. - Seneca

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

An intellectual is a man who doesn't know how to park his bike. - Spiro T. Agnew

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters

I'm paranoid about everything. On my stationary bike I have a rearview mirror. - Richard Lewis

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline. - Harvey Mackay

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Ferrous Wheel

Detroit Counterfeit Bill

Model T Winter

Gluten-Free Diet

Wine Time Finally

Biggest Turkeys

Geezer Crossing

How to Twerk at Work

Scooter Hearse

Fast Type

Aussie Porsche

Redneck Plane Repair

Wine Time

Smart Fortune Cookie

Menopause Sucks

Baguetti

We Are All Tied Together

Shopping-ish

Going For A Walk

Fell Years Ago

No Pot Of Gold

Krispy Kreme Waffles

Organic Pears

Hungry For Justice