#1 humor site on the 'net

Newfie Swimming Pool

Shamus blazes a new trail in the Newfoundland outback

Newfie Swimming Pool thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Everything's colder in Newfoundland, eh!

QuotaBills
There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. - Franklin D Roosevelt

I have always had the sea as my playground. - Alexander D. Oen

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

Trade unions are islands of anarchy in a sea of chaos. - Aneurin Bevan

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in. - Phyllis Diller

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

They who dive in the sea of affliction, bring up rare pearls. - Charles H. Spurgeon

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea. - Honore de Balzac

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink. - Shunryi Suzuki-roshi

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure. - Ross MacDonald

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Christopher Columbus

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

They are all discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea. - Francis Bacon

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in…it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

No one would have ever crossed the ocean if they could have gotten off the ship in the storm. - Charles F. Ketterling

We are imprisoned in the realm of life, like a sailor on his tiny boat, on an infinite ocean. - Anna Freud

Writing criticism is to writing fiction and poetry as hugging the shore is to sailing in the open sea. - John Updike

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. - George Burns

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

Ideals are like the stars: we never reach them, but like the mariners of the sea, we chart our course by them. - Carl Schurz

I don't trust the ocean, either; it would kill me as soon as not. It doesn't mean I'm afraid of it. - Maggie Stiefvater

My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops? - David Mitchell

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen. - Steven Wright

I was the equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would throw copies of Byron in my face! - Robin Williams

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

Canceled checks will be to future historians and cultural anthropologists what the Dead Sea Scrolls and hieroglyphics are to us. - Brent Staples

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

Your surfing can get better on every turn, on every wave you catch. Learn to read the ocean better. A big part of my success has been wave knowledge. - Kelly Slater


One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life