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Husband of the Year

Ole shared everything with his wife - even his work

Husband of the Year thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen Rowland

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look. - Mia Farrow

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. - Groucho Marx

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner. - Jerry Seinfeld

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


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