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Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook

If she hasn't yet, she soon will...

Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook thanks to Roy Taylor

Secrets of the Serengeti Grill

'Patience is required when hunting humans. If you harvest them at the wrong time they taste like crap.'

QuotaBills
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

When spiderwebs unite, they can halt even the lion. - African Proverb

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

The lion is ashamed, it's true, when he hunts with the fox. - Gotthold E. Lessing

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Sharks are the lions of the sea. They glamorize the oceanic glory. - Munia Khan

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as lamb. - Roman Proverb

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. - Walter Winchell

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

Therefore, it is necessary to be a fox to discover the snares and a lion to terrify the wolves. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

The tiger, he come up with the tigeress. The lion, he come up with the lionette. The zebra, he come up with the zeberelle. - Archie Bunker

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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