#1 humor site on the 'net

Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook

If she hasn't yet, she soon will...

Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook thanks to Roy Taylor

Secrets of the Serengeti Grill

'Patience is required when hunting humans. If you harvest them at the wrong time they taste like crap.'

QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Rise and rise again until lambs become lions. - Robin Hood

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

When spiderwebs unite, they can halt even the lion. - African Proverb

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

The lion is ashamed, it's true, when he hunts with the fox. - Gotthold E. Lessing

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as lamb. - Roman Proverb

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

Therefore, it is necessary to be a fox to discover the snares and a lion to terrify the wolves. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

The tiger, he come up with the tigeress. The lion, he come up with the lionette. The zebra, he come up with the zeberelle. - Archie Bunker

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


Overflow Truck Garden

New IRS Form

Flower Farm

Blind (Braille) Sudoku Puzzles B

Search and Rescue - Dry Run

Gene Wilder

Where Not To Fall A Tree

The Eye Of A Needle

Wagon Races

Pepper Face

Homeless Camper

30th 'Pearl' Wedding Anniversary of Trudy and Joe Defries

Box Biker

Motorcycle Texting

Bieber Escape

Safety Last Motorcyclists

IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener

X-Factor Sudoku Puzzles F

Fetch Stick

Corvette Suspension

Cat Woman and Rat Man

Slept On The Tire

Itchy Nose

Redneck Estate Sale