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Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook

If she hasn't yet, she soon will...

Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook thanks to Roy Taylor

Secrets of the Serengeti Grill

'Patience is required when hunting humans. If you harvest them at the wrong time they taste like crap.'
QuotaBills
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Rise and rise again until lambs become lions. - Robin Hood

When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. - Ethiopian Proverb

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

When spiderwebs unite, they can halt even the lion. - African Proverb

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

The lion is ashamed, it's true, when he hunts with the fox. - Gotthold E. Lessing

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as lamb. - Roman Proverb

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

Therefore, it is necessary to be a fox to discover the snares and a lion to terrify the wolves. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

The tiger, he come up with the tigeress. The lion, he come up with the lionette. The zebra, he come up with the zeberelle. - Archie Bunker

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


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