#1 humor site on the 'net

Cozy Home

My home may be small but it's cozy

Cozy Home thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Homeless wild animal

QuotaBills
Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

I had to sink my yacht to make the guests go home. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

I just heard from Bill Bailey. He's not coming home. - Henny Youngman

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

To be happy in the home is the ultimate result of all ambition. - Samuel Johnson

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. - Hillary Clinton

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

Welcome to our home. And as yous people say "shaboom" (shalom) - Archie Bunker

On stage I make love to twenty five thousand people; and then I go home alone. - Janis Joplin

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley

If you want to know who is going to change this country, go home and look in the mirror. - Maude Barlow

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. - George Bernard Shaw

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare


Time Management

Melted Dog

Bible Bar

Shower Dog

Scottish Choices

Is Lunch Ready?

Food Bank Closure

Breakfast In Bed

'Turn Me Over' Pickup

Ice Cream Thief

Chocolate Bed

Uplifting Church

Touchy Subject

It's A Keeper

Horse Hearse

No Pit Stop Car

Street Cleaning in China

Absolutely Nothing

Flower Drums

Really?

Waterproof Notepad

Seniors Bike Club

Family Hands

Flight Downer