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Root-bound computer programming - online branch office

Computerholic thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Root-ing around for the best humour at joe-ks.com

Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

Storms make the oak take deeper root. - George Herbert

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A root is a flower that disdains fame. - Kahlil Gibran

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

The spirit of self-help is the root of all genuine growth in the individual. - Samuel Smiles

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses. - Francis Bacon

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo

There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children - one is roots, and the other, wings. - Hodding S. Carter

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him. - John F Kennedy

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

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