#1 humor site on the 'net

Circumcision

Proud of reaping the benefits?

Circumcision thanks to Dave Loewen

'Let's just cut that one...'

QuotaBills
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

If I had a head like yours, I'd have it circumcised. - Dave Allen

When they circumcised him, they threw away the wrong bit. - David Lloyd George

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

If you're not failing now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. - Woody Allen

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Calvin

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller


Haunted Pancakes

No Neck

Five Pound Note

Selena Stopmez

AirHeads

Redneck Power Windows

Race Break

Mirror Fence

Look Both Ways

No-iPhone Kids

Dog Haircut

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Donkey Refill

Self Portrait for Squirrels

Coin Stacking

Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines