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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Yoga is not just a workout - it's about working on yourself. - Mary Glover

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running. - Zig Ziglar

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Leo Buscaglia

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

I live in California, so I do stand-up paddle board, which is a killer workout. - Ashley Wagner

One cannot spend one's entire life running into bathrooms when danger calls! - Reif Larsen

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. - Will Rogers

I object to people running down the future. I intend to live the rest of my life there. - Charles F Kettering

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

There is no impossibility to him who stands prepared to conquer every hazard. The fearful are the failing. - Sarah J. Hale

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Running! If there's any activity happier, more exhilarating, more nourishing to the imagination, I can't imagine what it might be. - Joyce Carol Oates

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectation. - Norman Cousins


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