Bent Baby

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

It takes an entire village to raise a child. - African Proverb

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

It's funnier to bend things than to break them. - WC Fields

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The great man is one who never loses his child’s heart. - Mencius

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye. - Helen Keller

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan