Bent Baby

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

It takes an entire village to raise a child. - African Proverb

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

The great man is one who never loses his child’s heart. - Mencius

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

When I was a child, nobody died; but now it happens all the time. - Unknown

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

When I was a child what I wanted to be when I grew up was an invalid. - Quentin Crisp

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds. - Plato