#1 humor site on the 'net

Bed Springs

Rusty Bed Springs by I.P. Nightly

Bed Springs thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Looking for a way to spring out of bed in the morning?

QuotaBills
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

The deep roots never doubt spring will come. - Marty Rubin

Spring work is going on with joyful enthusiasm. - John Muir

There is a time for words and a time for sleep. - Homer

Despite the forecast, live like it's spring. - Lilly Pulitzer

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Death - the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening. - Walter Scott

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell and advertise. - Ted Turner

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

I'm not afraid of spiders; I've had worse in my bed. - Donna Lynn Hope

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move. - Phyllis Diller

Bed is like the womb, only drier and with better TV reception. - Linda Richman

It is the trouble that never comes that causes the loss of sleep. - Charles Austin Bates

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. - Wilson Mizner

Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child. - Joan Almon

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact. - Bertrand Russell

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? - Ernest Hemingway

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Work hard. Rock hard. Eat hard. Sleep hard. Grow big. Wear glasses if you need 'em. - Webb Wilder

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep... the other wants to know if penguins have knees. - Unknown

For we are such stuff as dreams are made on
And our little lives are rounded with a sleep. - William Shakespeare

Nostalgia in reverse, the longing for yet another strange land, grew especially strong in spring. - Vladimir Nabokov

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

Sunsets are great. Sunrises are a mixed bag. You either got up way too early or went to bed way too late. - Matt Dillon

Inside myself is a place where I live alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up. - Pearl S. Buck

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed. - Ann Landers

I thank the Lord I no longer have to go to work. I just get out of bed in the morning, and there it is - all around me. - Unknown

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing. - William Arthur Ward

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep. - Dale Carnegie


Chest Walk

Car Axident

Energy Saver

Karate Knife

God Darts

How To Improve New Orleans

Alberta Hood Ornament

Florida Golf Hazard

'Cover Girl' Magazine

Baby Clone

Smooth Leaning Shoes

One Glass Per Day

Paradise Found

Rastaurant

Billionaire Thoughts

Waiting Is Good

Low Expectation Autographs

Hide and Seek

1st Baby Photo

British Holiday

Katoomba Railway

Master Reference Binder

Spot The Surfer

In Hind Sight