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Baby's Off Day

Why does everything always happen to me?

Baby's Off Day thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

I don't like the crying. - Donald Trump

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Find a shoulder to cry on, but not just any shoulder. - Lewis Schiff

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Menopause: you have to laugh or you'll end up crying. - Missa Says

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. - Will Rogers

I want to break something, or hit something, but I am afraid to move, so I start crying instead. - Veronica Roth

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars. - Rabindranath Tagore

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


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