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Wedding Invitation

Regrettable invitation to whatsherface's wedding

Wedding Invitation thanks to Cathy Young

But I'm not bitter!

QuotaBills
I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

A man is often too young to marry, but a man is never too old to love. - Finnish Proverb

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I will never again underestimate the power of anticipation. There is no better boost in the present than an invitation into the future. - Caroline Kepnes


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