#1 humor site on the 'net

Water Taxi

Don't let a flood drown your business!

Water Taxi thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Hydroplaning is this guy's specialty

QuotaBills
Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Out of water, I am nothing. - Duke Kahanamoku

The water doesn't know how old you are. - Dara Torres

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

Oil is drowning our oceans and drowning our boreal forests. - Winona LaDuke

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Water, air, and cleanliness are the chief articles in my pharmacy. - Napoleon Bonaparte

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it. - Steven Wright

You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it. - Paul Coelho

An entire ocean can't sink a ship unless it allows the water inside. - Donna Smith

A woman is like a teabag. Only in hot water do you realize how strong she is. - Nancy Reagan

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. - Zen Buddhist Saying

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper He,
amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. - Martin Luther

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

A leader is not an administrator who loves to run others, but someone who carries water for his people, so that they can get on with their jobs. - Robert Townsend

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


Selena Stopmez

AirHeads

Redneck Power Windows

Race Break

Mirror Fence

Look Both Ways

No-iPhone Kids

Dog Haircut

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Donkey Refill

Self Portrait for Squirrels

Coin Stacking

Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy

Fresh Air Computing