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The Ass Family

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The Ass Family thanks to Roy Taylor

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Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

There are no dumb customers. - Peter F Drucker

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

Time ripens all things, no man is born wise. - Miguel de Cervantes

The wise learns many things from their enemies. - Aristophanes

It is never wise to discourage youthful idealism. - Stephen Kinzer

Many receive advice, but only the wise profit from it. - Syrus

A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Unknown

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. - Tina Fey

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. - Albert Einstein

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

A wise man will live as much within his wit as his income. - Philip Dormer Stanhope

A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can. - Michel de Montaigne

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. - Steven Wright

A position of eminence makes a great person greater and a small person less. - Jean De La Bruyère

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. - Mark Twain

The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are. - C S Lewis

I am simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy, and driven. - Barbara Streisand

We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise guys. - William Arthur Ward

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner

Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius. - Matthew McConaughey

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Fang and I are always fighting. When we get up in the morning, we don't kiss; we touch gloves. - Phyllis Diller

I'd kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs. - Cameron Diaz

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Every family story has 1,000 other stories contained within it, like an unending series of nesting dolls. - Alison Pick

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

Mistakes are the stepping stones to wisdom. We learn from trial and error; we become wise by understanding problems. - Leon Brown

Hello. I don't believe we have been introduced. R2-D2? A pleasure to meet you. I am C-3PO, Human-Cyborg Relations. - C-3PO

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon


Leg Art

Strange Old Vehicles

Designer Lamp

Scottish Road Sign

Too Late Now

How Paper Beats Rock

Joburg Police

Behind Curtain Number One

One More Drop

Changing Priorities

Made His Bed

Dog Sled

Only In Canada - Nosey Moose

Camper Tank

Plane Pushers

Wise Electricity Use

Critter Control

Redneck Ice Fishing

Skeletons In The Closet

Captive Audience Twins

Brew Table

Nailed It Baby

Water Supply

Holding His Own Portraits