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Politician Training

How to become a politician & fleece your consituents

Politician Training thanks to Ken Ward

New ethics training for politicians baaaaa-d for morale

QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate, VII

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy. - Will Durant

Freedom of opinion can only exist when the government thinks itself secure. - Bertrand Russell

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

Get thee glass eyes;
And, like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. - William Shakespeare

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

Every country must be absolutely free to adopt the type of economic, political and social system that it considers convenient. - Fidel Castro

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


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