#1 humor site on the 'net

Making Light of Christmas

A quick way to put up the Christmas lights this year

The wife has been on my case to get the Christmas lights up for a couple of weeks. They are up now and for some reason she will not talk to me...

Making Light of Christmas thanks to Roy Taylor

Get holiday lights installed on your house by pros

QuotaBills
He lights up a room when he leaves it. - Henny Youngman

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - Unknown

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Stay the course, light a star, change the world where'er you are. - Richard Le Gallienne

May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out. - JRR Tolkien

There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the lights were on. - Rod Serling

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffet

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. - Edith Wharton

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Architecture is the learned game, correct and magnificent, of forms assembled in the light. - Le Corbusier

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. - G.C. Lichtenberg

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

We have been too long in darkness. Once already we have been in the light, and we want it again. - Alexander Dubcek

The art of art, the glory of expression, and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity. - Walt Whitman

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. - Oliver Wendell Homes, Jr.

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Blaise Pascal

I think that most people would rather face the light of a real enemy than the darkness of their imagined fears. - Max Brooks

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Disability is a way of getting some extremity, some kind of very difficult situation, that throws an interesting light on people. - Mark Haddon

It is obvious that we can no more explain a passion to a person who has never experienced it than we can explain light to the blind. - T S Eliot

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind. - Johnny Knoxville

The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn and shine with increasing clearness on your path. - Jim Rohn

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan


Why Germans Don't Play Scrabble

Moose Team

Catnip Garden

Tire Substitute

Monday Flowers

Lawntastic Scenery

Hallway Detour

For Your Synths

Ladder Load

Beach Drag

Amish Smart Car

Sitting on the Hot Seat

Redneck Wiener Roast

Free Trip To Heaven

Is There a Hell For Animals?

Double Line Parking

Without Government

Nose For Coke

Crisp Chips

3 Stages Of A Man's Life

Tipsy Crane

Clear View

Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery