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It's A Cracker

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Laugh it up, Fuzz ball. - Han Solo

Laughter is contagious. - Unknown

Humor is reason gone mad. - Groucho Marx

Wit is educated insolence. - Aristotle

Brevity is the soul of wit. - William Shakespeare

Living Happily Ever Laughter! - Joe-kster

Nobody ever died of laughter. - Max Beerbohm

Housekeeping ain't no joke. - Louisa May Alcott

Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle

A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

Coincidences are spiritual puns. - G K Chesterton

Pulled pork jokes never get old. - Joel Edgerton

Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

When the age is in, the wit is out. - William Shakespeare

Humor is the most engaging cowardice. - Robert Frost

I'm not funny. What I am is brave. - Lucille Ball

For every laugh there should be a tear. - Walt Disney

Humor is a painful thing told playfully. - Charles W Jarvis

When humor goes, there goes civilization. - Erma Bombeck

The only real laughter comes from despair. - Groucho Marx

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art. - Mary Kay Blakely

I would rather be called funny than pretty. - Nia Vardalos

Life in 2017: Living Happily Ever Laughter! - the Joe-kster

Make us laugh and you can pick all pockets. - Clemence Dane

Not by wrath does one kill but by laughter. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow. - H G Wells

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. - Arnold H Glasow

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. - Larry Gelbart

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. - Mark Twain

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten

Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Laughter is the closest distance between two people. - Victor Borge

God writes comedy but sometimes has a slow audience. - Garrison Keillor

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. - e e cummings

The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them. - Moliere

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. - Woody Allen

Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh. - Tom Lehrer

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

You have a ready wit. Let me know when it's ready. - Henny Youngman

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

There is nothing laughable about a clown in the moonlight. - Lon Chaney

A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way. - Allen Klein

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

A sense of humour is the ability to laugh at one's self. - Charlie Chaplin

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone. - Anthony Burgess

For thirty years my act consisted of one joke. And then she died. - George Burns

Laugh and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone. - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. - Charlie Chaplin

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. - George Eliot

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke. - Hugh Elliott

Wit is the rarest quality to be met with among people of education. - William Hazlitt

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. - Mark Twain

The next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. - Frank A. Clark

I want to make people laugh so that they'll see things seriously. - William K Zinsser

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman, and a pretty girl. - Charlie Chaplin

The best ideas come as joe-ks. Make your thinking as funny as possibell. - Joe-kster

The best ideas come from jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. - David Ogilvie

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. - Ernest Hemingway

Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter. - Joseph Addison

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it. - G K Chesterton

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humour. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? - Dick Cavett

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

Blessed is the man who can laugh at himself, for he will never cease to be amused. - Proverb

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade. - Noel Coward

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing. - Allen Klein

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks

What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not seen the joke? - Gore Vidal

Comedy's a funny game, it's not a job, it's a vocation - you never stop. - Eric Sykes

You don't have to teach people to be funny, you only have to give them permission. - Harvey Mindess

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost

There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in what they laugh at. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing. - Ronnie Barker

Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny. - Kathryn Carpenter

Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. - Langston Hughes

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny. - Guy Davenport

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of our superiority to all that befalls us. - Romain Gary

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. - Sid Caesar

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. - E.B. White

You can read Kant by yourself, if you wanted to; but you must share a joke with someone else. - Robert Louis Stevenson

There are three basic rules for great comedy. Unfortunately no-one can remember what they are. - Arthur Smith

Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained. - John Powell

The joke was lost on the foreigner - guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke. - Mark Twain

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. - Will Rogers

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one. - Oscar Wilde

I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor. - Christopher Hitchens

We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. - Charles Bukowski

Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Cry, and you're probably watching the wrong channel. - Groucho Marx

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude. - Don Rickles

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. - Oliver Herford

There's nothing better than a world where everybody's just trying to make each other laugh. - Matthew Perry

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. - Bob Newhart

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. - George Orwell

Companies need to lighten up and take themselves less seriously. They need to get a sense of humor. - Unknown

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. After all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. - Dame Edna Everage

Humour is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them. - Lewis Mumford

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old. - Edgar Watson Howe

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. - George Bernard Shaw

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently. - Palladas

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. - Robert Benchley

Don't laugh at a youth for his affectations; he is only trying on one face after another to find his own. - Logan P. Smith

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. - Henry Ward Beecher

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. - Norm Papernick

The man who sees the consistency in things is a wit; the man who sees the inconsistency in things is a humorist. - G K Chesterton

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana. - Lana Turner

There's nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face. - Eva Hoffman

I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humor. - Ralph Inge

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. - Audrey Hepburn

Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it. - Tallulah Bankhead

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. - Kahlil Gibran

Milton, for sixty years you've entertained us, and you've made us laugh, and we say to you, 'Milton, do it again. - Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance. - Peter De Vries

The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool. - Jonathan Swift

She raised us with humor, and she raised us to understand that not everything was going to be great, but how to laugh through it. - Liza Minnelli

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. - Horace Walpole

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - W H Auden

Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. - James Thurber

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

There is not less wit, not less invention, in applying rightly a thought one finds in a book, than in being the first author of that book. - Pierre Boyle

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectation. - Norman Cousins

Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind. - E.B. White

Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all. - John Kenneth Galbraith

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy. - Mark Twain

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


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