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IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener

Exercise to help you prepare for this year's taxes!

IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener thanks to Bob 'MoSkeeterz' Carroll

Let the government sharpen your pencils

Taxes
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways to tax his ass.

Tax all he has,
Then let him know
That you won't be done 'til he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till he's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove me to my doom.”

When he's gone, do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax...

... and just a few more...
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world,
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids...
What happened? Can you spell 'politicians'?
QuotaBills
Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana

Under every stone lurks a politician. - Aristophanes

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but death and taxes. - Christopher Bullock

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. - Charles de Gaulle

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. - Nikita Khruschev

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Will Rogers

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields

Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. - Unknown

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. - Ambrose Bierce

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher


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