#1 humor site on the 'net

Hair Growth - a Sign of the Times

How to turn water into de-vine

Hair Growth - a Sign of the Times thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't want a wig that looks like a wig; I want one that could pass for a weave. - Nicki Minaj

As long as I can wear a wig I can be any character, and in real life I can be myself. - Ginnifer Goodwin

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

I benefit from the Mr. Potato Head syndrome. Put a wig and a nose and glasses on me, and I disappear. - Phil Hartman

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro


Cheating Husband

Stuck On High Gear

Bottom Blast Car Wash

Yo Mama Bin Shopping

Gangsta

Helmet Full Of Hair

Air Conditioner Repair

Redneck Towing

Walking His Fresh Food Pet

Japanese Tea Bath

Redneck Daycare

Hedge Hunter

Pilot Prop Job

Front To Side View

Moses' USB Tablets

Family Photo

Is Laughter The Best Medicine?

Plastered Wall Plasterer

Waffle Board

Stairway Repair

Cowboy Bubble Bath

Trunk Load

Centennial Puff

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud