#1 humor site on the 'net

Duck That Did Not Duck

Meeting a goose at 11,000 feet @ 185 knots can ruin your day

Duck That Did Not Duck thanks to Ken Ward

Duck That Did Not Duck thanks to Ken Ward

Duck That Did Not Duck thanks to Ken Ward

The injured pilot was able to land the aircraft (Beech Baron) safely

Duck That Did Not Duck thanks to Ken Ward

Same goose at Sea Level

QuotaBills
When in doubt, duck. - Malcolm Forbes

Owning a drone does not a pilot make. - Alex Morritt

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

As the velocity of air increases, its pressure decreases. - Daniel Bernoulli

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

A goose flies by a chart the Royal Geographical Society could not improve. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it. - J.M. Barrie

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Nothing can move a man who is paid by the hour; how sweet the flight of time seems to his calm mind. - Charles D Warner

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?" - Robin Williams

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben

Bruce Lee's fast pace, Jet Li's pretty style and Jet Li's acrobatics combine with Muay Thai for my own style. - Tony Jaa

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Southwest Airlines is successful because the company understands it's a customer service company. It also happens to be an airline. - Harvey Mackay

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


Grand Prix Roller Blades

Son Shine

BachScratcher

Under Control

Straightjacket Fashion

Husband Parking

Why Stand In Line?

Weight Watchers Bus

Bread Pitt

Redneck Hayride

How To Reduce Complaints at Work

Corset Bound

Bike Trike

Pizza Air's Inaugural Delivery

Tomato IV

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Mechanic's Work Table

Alzheimer's Wing

I Don't Have Mushroom

Texas Peace Sign

Letting Your Hair Down

Eagle Makeup

Everything Is OK

Knot Art