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Divorce Defined

Marital bliss squeezed through the hands of a lawyer

Divorce Defined thanks to Mike King

Divorce: from an old Latin word meaning to extract a man's genitals through his wallet

QuotaBills
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

The trouble with law is lawyers. - Clarence Darrow

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls. - Lenny Bruce

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

Corn can't expect justice from a court composed of chickens. - African Proverb

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. - Otto von Bismarck

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

The laws of probability - so true in general, so fallacious in particular. - Edward Gibbon

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them. - Joseph H Choate

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all. - George Washington

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it. - Irving R. Kaufman

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs


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