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Divorce Defined

Marital bliss squeezed through the hands of a lawyer

Divorce Defined thanks to Mike King

Divorce: from an old Latin word meaning to extract a man's genitals through his wallet

QuotaBills
Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Law cannot persuade where it cannot punish. - Thomas Fuller

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

Writing laws is easy, but governing is difficult. - Leo Tolstoy

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

You're breakin' about 18 laws, maybe even a dozen. - Archie Bunker

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law. - Yiddish Proverb

People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves. - Albert Camus

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

The best use of laws is to teach men to trample bad laws under their feet. - Wendell Phillips

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races. - Homer Simpson

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.


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