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Divorce Defined

Marital bliss squeezed through the hands of a lawyer

Divorce Defined thanks to Mike King

Divorce: from an old Latin word meaning to extract a man's genitals through his wallet

QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

Alimony: the ransom that the happy pay to the devil. - H L Mencken

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have. - James Baldwin

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges. - Anatole France

The law was made for one thing alone - for the exploitation of those who don't understand it. - Bertoit Brecht

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.


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