#1 humor site on the 'net

Women's Outhouse

When workplace sanity is necessary to keep a woman's sanity

Women's Outhouse thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

I'm a woman who wants her chocolate. - Jessica Simpson

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition. - Unknown

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. - George Burns

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. - Aristotle Onassis

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman. - Conrad Hilton

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

No honest work of man or woman "fails"; it feeds the sum of all human action. - Michelene Wandor

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

To my eye, women get sexier around 35. They know a thing or two, and knowledge is always alluring. - Pierce Brosnan

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Sometimes a man just can't satisfy all of a woman's desires. Which is why God invented dental floss. - Unknown

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman - it depends on how much happiness you can handle. - George Burns

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

Perhaps women have always been in closer contact with reality than men: it would seem to be the just recompense for being deprived of idealism. - Germaine Greer

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin


Window Washers at a Children's Hospital

Spaghetti Digest

Ready Soon

iPhone Charger

Tube Travel

Redneck Tree Fort

OCD Guy

World's Tallest Bus

Long Liquor Store

Happy Wood Pig

On Top Of Things

Anail Retention

Bat Flight

The No Brainer

Truck Bender

Bacon Balls

Fast Closure

Ukrainian Feast

1934 Modern Home

Fliptus

Copper Tubing Specialist

Bach Off Van

Boss Resume

Canadian Gun Shop