#1 humor site on the 'net

Very Fat Burger

For days when you just don't have time for your diet

Very Fat Burger thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

Give me Caviar Kaspia and give me a hamburger. I love the two extremes. - Michael Kors

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

You turn hotdogs with tongs. Don't you ever use those tongs on a hamburger. - J.B. Smoove

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. - George Foreman

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


Why Germans Don't Play Scrabble

Moose Team

Catnip Garden

Tire Substitute

Monday Flowers

Lawntastic Scenery

Hallway Detour

For Your Synths

Ladder Load

Beach Drag

Amish Smart Car

Sitting on the Hot Seat

Redneck Wiener Roast

Free Trip To Heaven

Is There a Hell For Animals?

Double Line Parking

Without Government

Nose For Coke

Crisp Chips

3 Stages Of A Man's Life

Tipsy Crane

Clear View

Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery