Very Fat Burger

I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

People with healthy self-esteem do not need to create pretend identities. - Unknown

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

You turn hotdogs with tongs. Don't you ever use those tongs on a hamburger. - J.B. Smoove

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. - Bob Thaves

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Maintaining healthy forests is essential to those who make a living from the land and for those of us who use them for recreational purposes. - Cathy M. Rodgers

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. - George Foreman