#1 humor site on the 'net

Special Present For Grandpa

Looking for a Cool way to spend your evening with the grandkids?

Special Present For Grandpa thanks to Vikky Levan

just before Little Johnny went to bed for the rest of his life

QuotaBills
And isn't he as slow as a wet week! - Unknown

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. - Roger Miller

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

Maybe she's a spaghetti girl... straight until wet. - Jodi Lerner

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. - Loren Eiseley

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. - WC Fields

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

When ya go out there in the water and ya start crossing your longirudes and lassitudes. - Archie Bunker

The dignity of movement of an iceberg is due to only one ninth of it being above water. - Ernest Hemingway

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom. - Arthur Golden

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Multi Task Dad

Twin Load

Sometimes Dads Are Wet For Work

Hospital Friends

Ways to say 'Dad' in Different Languages

Back Massage Track

Baby Sitting

Father Sayings for Father's Day

Desert Soccer Fans

Tight Fit Ship

Dog Fairy Tales

Dad's Ex-Ferrari

Dad's Turn

Sleep-In Dad

'Take Your Kid To Work' Day

Baby Shower

Nose Ring

Dad In Mind

Fresh Breath

Bare Bones Love

I Love Dad

Uplifting Idea

Romantic Accident

Father's Day Selfie