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Get drunk with love. - Debasish Mridha

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. - William Butler Yeats

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. - Ernest Hemingway

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway

The darkest part of hell is reserved for those who maintain neutrality in times of moral crisis. - Dante

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Humor has been the balm of my life, but it's been reserved for those close to me, not part of the public Lana. - Lana Turner

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster


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