#1 humor site on the 'net

Cat Woman and Rat Man

Cat Woman and Rat Man are still around and happy as ever

Cat Woman and Rat Man thanks to Darwin McKee

Cat Woman and Rat Man thanks to Darwin McKee

QuotaBills
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Logic is the anatomy of thought. - Albert Einstein

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

Suicide doesn't end the pain. It just passes it on to someone else. - James Kirkup

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield


Revolutionary Cooking

Fish View

Pilot Bike

Stealth Woman

1st Rolex

Dish Dryer

Young Mechanic

Angry Mathematician

McLobster

Cliff Walks

Reading Chair

Puzzle Ad

Feeding Time

Rural Free Delivery

Urban Camper

Fractured Foot or Hand?

Yolkswagon

March of the Penguins - Canadian Version

Shoelusion

Almost Done

Swim Vacation

Foot Circle

Sumo Fault

Psychic Fair