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Laughter is the best medicine. - the Joe-kster

Where a man feels pain he lays his hand. - Dutch Proverb

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth. - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Mysterious love, uncertain treasure, hast thou more of pain or pleasure! Endless torments dwell about thee: Yet who would live, and live without thee! - Joseph Addison


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