#1 humor site on the 'net

Balanced Food Delivery

How to spread word about your balanced diet

Balanced Food Delivery thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle. - Steven Wright

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty. - Unknown

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

He's a well-balanced individual - he has a chip on each shoulder. - Unknown

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Business is like riding a bicycle. Either you keep moving or you fall down. - John D. Wright

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you plan to stop pedaling. - Claude Pepper

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. - William Arthur Ward

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

If you're interested in 'balancing' work and pleasure, stop trying to balance them. Instead make your work more pleasurable. - Donald Trump

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


4x4 Kitchen Design

World's Largest Sudoku Puzzle

Water Hypnosis

Flu Fashion

Handicap Porch

Underwater Home

Subway Solutions

Grass Room

Row Your Goat

Moment Just Before Being Soaked... @ T - 1

Bridge Claimed Another One

Woman-Riding Man

Thin Polar Bear

Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer

They Found Your Balls

Giraffe Pet

Hard Working Cop

Cattle Herding in Africa

Dutch Cowboy

How Bachelors Kill Moths

Tonsil Ring

Portrait Gallery

Piano Dog