#1 humor site on the 'net

Bacon Bikes

This little piggy went to market... but not first class!

Bacon Bikes thanks to Dave Loewen

Bacon Bikes thanks to Dave Loewen

Bacon Bikes thanks to Dave Loewen

QuotaBills
In a pig's dye - Archie Bunker

Pork is my friend. - Tom Douglas

Zombies hate fast food. - Unknown

Pulled pork jokes never get old. - Joel Edgerton

Civilized humanical relationships - Archie Bunker

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Life is short. Eat cookies for breakfast. - Unknown

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

You can never put too much pork in your mouth. - Lewis Black

Synonym Bun: What a thesaurus eats for breakfast - Unknown

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Even apocalypse looks less dire when viewed over a plate of bacon. - Stephanie Stamm

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Even if the ball was wrapped in bacon, Lassie couldn't find it. - Unknown

I'm carrying so much pork, I'm beginning to get trichinosis. - Phil Gramm

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

Want to improve your relationships? See love as a verb rather than as a feeling. - Stephen R. Covey

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. - Cale Yarborough

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

If he don't go calling the cops “pigs” or one of those other epilets, he'll be all right. - Archie Bunker

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg

Fork Door Handle

Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers