#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby Chat

As a baby, the Joe-kster couldn't control his online demand

Baby Chat thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

'Love At First Byte' for the Joe-kster

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Don't Get Your Head In A Knot

Cornfield Fishing

Dawn Gone

Highest Human Position In The World

Together Since

You Never Call

CLUMSY Driver

Water Short

Post Research

Motorcycle Taxi

Columbia Street Party

Fly By Meal

Down Day

Hanging Out With Friends

You Want Me To Do What?

Mirror Lake

Kitchen Thing

Light Road

Coffee Spoon

Show Stopper

Water Judge

Litter of DalCations

Fitness On The Bus

Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich